Dear Liv,
So surely this isn't my first letter to you my dear, I have written you others but I wanted you to be able to have a place where you could come to read the thoughts I had about you , the wishes and prayers I had for you and so I could come back to this place and just be nostalgic. I wanted you to have a place that was only for you, and no one else. A place I could document your life both past and present, and even dream a little about your future. No doubt God has some incredibly amazing things in store for your life, and those too should be documented here. I'm not sure why I chose to start this today, after 13 months, but after rocking (bouncing) you to sleep this morning I felt an overwhelming urge to remember the sights, sounds, and smells of that moment, and of this day. You my sweet bring an utter bliss and peace to my soul, and while you will grow out of this stage someday, that feeling in which you bring me, and that love I have for you will absolutely just grow and grow.
It's Friday August 31st and you are 13 months and 2.5 weeks. Our first full summer together is coming to an end and we are going out with a bang. We are going to go to the park, have ice cream, take your stroller (and you teapot) for a walk, and eat outside with Daddy tonight for dinner.
We started our morning off with a major cuddle sesh. You are very restless right now because you brain is telling you to walk but your body, and your teeny tiny little feet are just not quite ready, although you are very very close. You sleep great 98% of the time- fall asleep on your own, in your own crib. However every now and again you need my help, and I always oblige. Those moments where you are on my chest smiling through your binky and patting the outsides of my arms, they are priceless, they are penetrate to the deepest parts of me. I love watching you lay your head down, only to pick it up again just to make sure you haven't missed anything. You love your Mama cuddles and while you don't need them most of the time, I love it when you do, because usually I need them too! Feeling your body heavy on mine makes me feel like no time has passed, like you are still my baby and I am still your comfort. I know that the face of these things will change, but the emotions and love behind them never will- you will always be my baby, and in one form or another I will always be a place of comfort.
I love watching you grow and learn and explore, and though I definitely have my moments where I want to beg God to slow time down, I am also enjoying what each new day brings. Right now you have a slew of words that are a part of your daily vocabulary. You say... Mama, Dada, Papa, Nana, Mimi, teeth, eyes, hi, bye bye, baby, yeah, wawa, up, and please (a little verbally but mostly in sign language. You also sign 'all done'. You watch my mouth as I say the 'ABC's' and you move your mouth as well. You know the sounds and you try to say them too. I'm sure it is coming soon.
You practice daily using your utensils and this morning you ate your oatmeal with your spoon SO well! Sometimes you stick your fingers in your food when you are bored of the spoon (your Nana taught you that :) ) You love everything we put in front of you but one of your all time faves are banana's or 'nana's' as you so clearly call them. You love water and veto milk, although we did try rice milk at Costco yesterday and you tolerated it.
You are so loving and so affectionate to everyone, especially babies and animals. You give kissies to everything that you assume is an animal or a baby. I love your heart and I love that you recognize love as the language that we speak in our house.
You have 8 teeth four top, and four bottom and your smile is off the charts adorbs. You chew really good with your teeth, and when I'm afraid you are going to choke, I say "chew chew" and you open your mouth really wide and chew so I can see that you are chewing. It's so hilarious.
Right now one of my most favorite things is when and how you say "yeah." If I talk to you in 'crazy' talk which sounds a lot like Japanese you say, "yeah!" when I'm done. We can go on and on with our conversations and you just keep saying "yeah" when I'm done with my sentences. You also incorporate some baby talk in there to which is my all time hands down fave.
You still love mirrors and love watching yourself play and laugh. We now have a mirror in almost every room in the house just for you!
Your Mimi and Papa just took you 'school' shopping and you got the most adorable clothes ever! I just pulled them out of the wash and I have to tell you as I was folding them I kept holding them up wondering how you got so big so fast, and wondering where time goes. But that's normal Liv, I'm certain when you have children you will feel the very same way. I have asked that, "where has time gone?" question a lot since your birth and the answer I most often hear the Lord whispering back is, "when the time is passing it is taking with it laughter, and fun, and cuddles, and prayers, and learning and growing, and joy." Our time since you have arrived hasn't passed in vain, it's been intentional and sucked dry. We haven't wasted our days wishing to be anywhere else than where we are because each day has been perfect, even the tough ones, because we know that those too our a part of our story.
My little Livy, Nuggy Buggy, Noonie girl, today, like every one before it, my heart could literally burst at the seems with the love I have for you. My prayer is not only for you health and protection and development for today, but also for the days to come. For the years of school and afternoon play dates, for the days of exams and sports, and prom and college essays. My prayer is for the days the Lord has already ordained for your life. I pray that above all else you live out these days with the knowledge that the Lord loves you, that he is your portion and your peace. I pray that you can fully grasp the depth and heights of his love. I pray that as you navigate through these years you are confident in who he made you, all of your obvious strengths but also your hidden weaknesses, I hope you walk with the assurance that you are beautifully and wonderfully made, and that no good day or bad day can change the love and acceptance that both the Lord and your daddy and I feel for you. Nothing can ever ever ever ever change that!
What a joyous and wonderful sunny last day of August it is with you my sweet! Now I'm gonna go hurry and get ready while you are napping so we can party the day away :)
Love you endlessly,
Mama
